Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Feel the burn...

And the winner of yesterday's Mister DeVizzaPizza Fake Pizza Place Name Contest Sudden Pizza Death Tie-breaker is...

Einstein's Theory of Pizzativity!

Honorable mention to Future Pizza, of course. On a different day, you could've been a champion...

Also, new names are up in the polls. Keep voting!!

Anyway, pizza friends, I'm still working hard on what I hope will be the best Mister DeVizzaPizza posts yet. I've been keeping plenty busy...researching, writing...and eating lots and lots of delicious pizza pie! So, stay tuned!

And that brings me to a reader email - an oldie-but-goodie, pulled from the anonymous comments section of the old DeVizzaPizza site. I think the message here is appropriate:

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Mr. DevizzaPizza,

Have you ever burned the roof of your mouth with a slice of pizza? I have. What can I do to avoid such an unpleasant injury? Your insight is priceless!

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Oh, the dreaded "pizza burn." And, for the record, that's a real-deal medical term, found in respected doctor journals. True story! "Pizza burn."

But sanctioned terminology aside, this is a very serious issue. Just as tennis players have their "tennis elbow," gamers have their "gamer's thumb," and bowlers have their "clinical depression," pizza aficionados are plagued by the risk of "pizza burn." It's unpleasant, as our anonymous emailer knows too-well. And the sad fact of the matter is...it's unavoidable. You can apply ice to the roof of your mouth, post-burn, to ease the pain. You can try gargling with salt water to promote healing. And you can certainly stay clear of spicy or sharp foods, limiting the level of tender-palate aggravation. But, truthfully, there is no easy way to prevent pizza burn. The only advice I can give, pizza friends...and it is a sentiment with universal applications: Be patient! To be sure, I am a fool, and I have rushed in. I know how tempting a fresh slice can be. But be strong. Take a moment. Consider the pie before you. Good things come to those who wait, after all. Your pizza pie will be that much more delicious in the end!

And on that note...I'll leave you, for now. As always, save a slice for me...

Your friend,
Mr. DP

2 comments:

carlapants said...

Knife and fork, baby. Knife and fork. Will prevent a burn every time. Savages.

Anonymous said...

Mr Pizza Face,
Funny you should bring up Za'Burn today. Just grabbed two slices from Rustica at 36th and Chestnut...man was i hungry. 2 iced coffees and no breakfast got me droolin when i saw that Spaniard throw those two huge slices in the oven. Ten Minutes later I sat down outside, unzipped my pants and took a bite. "OWWW..SHEEEIIIT..OWWWWHH! The fuckin burning cheese slid off the end of the pie and rolled around in my mouth causing burning and some serious 'peelage' with every piece of skin it encountered (note: it also ran down my chin and burned that shit but that was more embarrassing than relevant). "Let it cool off" you say? "Blow on it?" GMFB. I was starvin...
Is there a remedy, Mr. Pizza? I'll tell you what the remedy is and I'm sure you'll agree.......MORE PIZZA. That's right, ordered another piping hot slice right after the two...why? Cuz i couldn't feel it anyway! Take that ZA'Burn Gods!
Well Mr. Pizza Town, this has been fun but i guess i don't have a real question. Just no feeling in my mouth. I miss you and hope to enjoy a slice or 6 with you soon.

See you in Cleveland.
soundZAwesome