Now, before I get all worked up and burn my crust, let me move on to more practical matters: The first winner of the first round of the Mister DeVizzaPizza Fake Pizza Name Contest is...
The Famous Taste Of Bricks!
You've chosen wisely, pizza pals. That's a good one! So, into the winner's circle it goes. Congrats to all involved. Also, please take a look at our next batch of names, available for your consideration in the polls section. Vote soon and vote often!
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And now...a question from one of our readers...
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I was wondering what you think of this thing:
Aside from the fact that it's way too expensive, do you think this thing would make a kick-ass pizza at home? Do you think there might be other ways to get that hot wood-fired experience in your backyard without spending a fortune? Perhaps grill modifications?
I look forward to your thoughts, and keep up the good work,
Gianmarco
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Thanks for your question, Gianmarco. And thanks for the kind words, too. In the name of full disclosure, I should say this: I've had the good fortune to enjoy a home-cooked meal at Gianmarco's place, and he is one fully pedigreed pizza pal! The thought of it melts the cheese on my pizza heart. Hmm. But turning to the question at hand...
That certainly is quite a contraption, isn't it? A lovely piece of backyard finery, to be sure. And, yes, I do think that it would produce wonderful wood-fired pizzas. But you're right to be dismissive of its pie-in-sky price tag. Pizza, as we know, is a people's food. It needs not the gilded pretensions of high-priced accessories from luxury boutiques. And what's more...this particular absurdity is little more than unfired terracotta, a noble but undoubtedly lowly material (translated, it becomes, simply..."cooked earth"). To charge $2000 for this thing is to take advantage of our good pizza nature. I don't like it. And I think we can do better, for this is not the only road to delicious wood-fired backyard pizza pies...
First, a reasonable approximation of the $2000 "Beehive Oven" can be made using little more than your standard charcoal grill and materials available at any hardware store. You see, terracotta is not exclusive to upscale gourmet shops. It is used for floor tiles and garden wares and can be found for astoundingly low prices at your local hardware shop. In fact, unglazed terracotta tiles (sometimes called quarry tiles) can be purchased for under a dollar at most stores, and come in a variety of sizes. I highly recommend them, in place of the average $30 "pizza stone." Line the bottom rack of your oven with a few, and you'll be on your way to making pizzas of any size, with a perfectly crisp crust. The key is a nice long pre-heat. Terracotta is unfriendly to rapid shifts in temperature, so set your oven as high as possible and walk away for a while...say, 30-45 minutes, at least. Let those tiles get good and hot and they'll retain that heat, rewarding you with a well-cooked pie! And, in the case that they crack (as they sometimes do), you'll feel a lot better about the experience than you would given the wreckage of a more expensive pizza stone. Oh, also worth mentioning...in the absence of quarry tiles, you know what works equally well? The base (drip-pan? saucer?) of a terracotta pot! True story. And they're also available at hardware stores (although Mrs. DeVizzaPizza likes to get her's from A.C. Moore) for next to nothing. Just place them in your oven upside down and you're good to go! But it seems I've digressed...
For backyard pizza fun, load your charcoal grill with natural wood charcoal (skip the manufactured briquettes, and whatever you do, don't use lighter fluid). Use a chimney starter to get the charcoal good and hot, and then stack them at the back of your grill. Place your terracotta tiles or pot base at the front of the grill, close the grill cover, and let them get good and hot. From there, simply bake your pie as usual. For added smokiness, keep that bbq lid closed as much as possible. Or, for total next-level "Mister DeVizzaPizza has never even tried this but it sounds like it could work" craziness...forgo the bbq lid and cover the pie with an unglazed terracotta pot. You'll need come kind of hardware (strong heat-proof tongs? Heavy-duty oven mitts?) to remove the thing after cooking, but...it's just so nuts it could work, right? Hmm. It could also end in cracked-pot burning hell-fire disaster, but seriously...that would be one exciting pizza pie!
Another option for smokey backyard pizza, and one that involves a whole lot less hardware...is direct grilling. Grilled pizza is seriously catching on, and while it involves a little more finesse than conventional pizza-making, its unique flavor provides ample reward. For starters, it should be mentioned that grilled pizza makes use of a slightly thicker dough, and most pies should kept to a smaller diameter than usual. As much as I love a 30" extra-large pizza, you'll have a whole lot of trouble landing such a craft on your standard backyard grill. So...most any dough will do (though I sometimes make a grill-specific dough using rye flour for added body and taste)...just roll it out into a small pie, let's say, about 12" in diameter and 1/4" thick. Transfer your pie to a well floured pizza peel, and you're ready to go. And you might be saying, "Mister DeVizzaPizza...what about the sauce and cheese?" Well, that is one of the ways in which grilled pizza is fundamentally different from conventional pizza. You'll be cooking your dough on one side before adding even a single topping. So, be patient, pizza friends. It's worth it. Now, make sure your grill is good and hot (follow the instructions above...use real charcoal and chimney starter), and...this is important...make sure your grill surface is clean and generously brushed with oil (any high-heat oil will work...even non-stick cooking spray). Slide your dough onto the rack and cover the grill with its lid. Let the dough cook for a couple of minutes, and then use your peel (perhaps with a helping hand from a pair of tongs) to remove the dough from the heat. You should see grill marks on the cooked side. And that's good news! Now, flip your dough on the peel, and top the cooked side with sauce, cheese and other ingredients of your choice. Then slide the pie back onto the grill, cover it...and in a few minutes, you'll have the best bbq ever!
Please note, of course, that individual grills behave differently, as do individual pizza-chefs, so...although it barely needs to be said, results will vary. The point is...with a little bit of experimentation (and without spending $2000!), any pizza fan can enjoy delicious pizza pies, backyard bbq-style! Just remember, when planning a backyard pizza bbq, make sure to invite Mister DeVizzaPizza!
First, a reasonable approximation of the $2000 "Beehive Oven" can be made using little more than your standard charcoal grill and materials available at any hardware store. You see, terracotta is not exclusive to upscale gourmet shops. It is used for floor tiles and garden wares and can be found for astoundingly low prices at your local hardware shop. In fact, unglazed terracotta tiles (sometimes called quarry tiles) can be purchased for under a dollar at most stores, and come in a variety of sizes. I highly recommend them, in place of the average $30 "pizza stone." Line the bottom rack of your oven with a few, and you'll be on your way to making pizzas of any size, with a perfectly crisp crust. The key is a nice long pre-heat. Terracotta is unfriendly to rapid shifts in temperature, so set your oven as high as possible and walk away for a while...say, 30-45 minutes, at least. Let those tiles get good and hot and they'll retain that heat, rewarding you with a well-cooked pie! And, in the case that they crack (as they sometimes do), you'll feel a lot better about the experience than you would given the wreckage of a more expensive pizza stone. Oh, also worth mentioning...in the absence of quarry tiles, you know what works equally well? The base (drip-pan? saucer?) of a terracotta pot! True story. And they're also available at hardware stores (although Mrs. DeVizzaPizza likes to get her's from A.C. Moore) for next to nothing. Just place them in your oven upside down and you're good to go! But it seems I've digressed...
For backyard pizza fun, load your charcoal grill with natural wood charcoal (skip the manufactured briquettes, and whatever you do, don't use lighter fluid). Use a chimney starter to get the charcoal good and hot, and then stack them at the back of your grill. Place your terracotta tiles or pot base at the front of the grill, close the grill cover, and let them get good and hot. From there, simply bake your pie as usual. For added smokiness, keep that bbq lid closed as much as possible. Or, for total next-level "Mister DeVizzaPizza has never even tried this but it sounds like it could work" craziness...forgo the bbq lid and cover the pie with an unglazed terracotta pot. You'll need come kind of hardware (strong heat-proof tongs? Heavy-duty oven mitts?) to remove the thing after cooking, but...it's just so nuts it could work, right? Hmm. It could also end in cracked-pot burning hell-fire disaster, but seriously...that would be one exciting pizza pie!
Another option for smokey backyard pizza, and one that involves a whole lot less hardware...is direct grilling. Grilled pizza is seriously catching on, and while it involves a little more finesse than conventional pizza-making, its unique flavor provides ample reward. For starters, it should be mentioned that grilled pizza makes use of a slightly thicker dough, and most pies should kept to a smaller diameter than usual. As much as I love a 30" extra-large pizza, you'll have a whole lot of trouble landing such a craft on your standard backyard grill. So...most any dough will do (though I sometimes make a grill-specific dough using rye flour for added body and taste)...just roll it out into a small pie, let's say, about 12" in diameter and 1/4" thick. Transfer your pie to a well floured pizza peel, and you're ready to go. And you might be saying, "Mister DeVizzaPizza...what about the sauce and cheese?" Well, that is one of the ways in which grilled pizza is fundamentally different from conventional pizza. You'll be cooking your dough on one side before adding even a single topping. So, be patient, pizza friends. It's worth it. Now, make sure your grill is good and hot (follow the instructions above...use real charcoal and chimney starter), and...this is important...make sure your grill surface is clean and generously brushed with oil (any high-heat oil will work...even non-stick cooking spray). Slide your dough onto the rack and cover the grill with its lid. Let the dough cook for a couple of minutes, and then use your peel (perhaps with a helping hand from a pair of tongs) to remove the dough from the heat. You should see grill marks on the cooked side. And that's good news! Now, flip your dough on the peel, and top the cooked side with sauce, cheese and other ingredients of your choice. Then slide the pie back onto the grill, cover it...and in a few minutes, you'll have the best bbq ever!
Please note, of course, that individual grills behave differently, as do individual pizza-chefs, so...although it barely needs to be said, results will vary. The point is...with a little bit of experimentation (and without spending $2000!), any pizza fan can enjoy delicious pizza pies, backyard bbq-style! Just remember, when planning a backyard pizza bbq, make sure to invite Mister DeVizzaPizza!
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And that's the end of that pie, pizza friends! I've got a big weekend coming up. I'm heading home for a family visit. And that means...you guessed it...an old-fashioned DeVizzaPizza PIZZA PARTY! Pics and details to come next week. In the meantime...keep voting for fake pizza names, and I hope your weekend is a very large pie, indeed...
Mr. DP
Mr. DP
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